comedy writer

2007 !

2007-04-15T19:11:00.000-07:00

Just so Cybele can move me from her 'dead, dead blogs' list, I'm updating my year in the life blog.

Seven bridges road

2005-04-04T22:03:00.000-07:00

April Surprises...

Juggling festival in the Bahamas,
booked in Duluth ( a home coming dance?)
and finding that people are reading my blog.

Teaching a couple of Comedy writing workshops -- one is eight hours and focused on professionals. Currenlty working on several scripts for a variety of clients and a book of stories from my family.

Dave

Plastic Jesus

2005-02-10T10:37:00.000-08:00

GEEK news version 7.0 Valentines day geeklinks(TM)

Well, um

Face it. We're way too cool.

****************************

Did I send this? Lego pc's
http://members.cox.net/richw/lego.htm

thaco theater?http://www.councilofdoomtheatre.com/shows.html

from geekman.ca

Imperial forces recruiting page: http://members.outpost10f.com/~sonata/empire/

Napoleon Dynamite is either a good movie or its not. I can't tell if its about anything.

My latest writing obsession & I love the name:

Matte black Military Cap-O-Matic Fisher Space Pen

see it here: http://www.rei.com/product/13006933.htm

Games university? Let me in! http://www.studentnewspaper.org/view_article.php?article_id=20041025151714

IT WHAT? http://www.zdnet.com.au/news/security/0,2000061744,39180674,00.htm

Enjoy

David

PS just did a middle school career day --as a professional juggler.

Elvis has left the building--

2004-12-28T14:45:00.000-08:00

Bryan P. Dyess, Steven E. Kent, Timothy R. Sperling and Audrey M. Tailor

Yesterday

2004-12-28T14:43:00.000-08:00

Well, a year in the life of a comedy writer. I suppose I could post every movie I've seenthis year, or the number of 2 liter bottles of vanilla coke I've consumed and what their volume equals ( probally not as large as the William A. irving, now docked in Duluth, but still a frightening amount of soda) or like many people my New Year's Resloutions.

But I won't.

Dave

PS A friend of mine emailed that a cubic meter of water equals a metric ton. Can that be right?

THE BOY IN THE BUBBLE

2004-11-06T11:22:00.000-08:00

Free from easy money making schemes, Rolex ads or ferret legging

What you won’t find here.

If you want " Harry Potter": you’re looking in the wrong place.

Listen. This is for those bloggers who include pop stars like Paris Hilton and David Hasslehoff in their blogs just to sex them up and get more hits when someone googles a key word in a search like -- "P.T. Cruiser" or "great movie reviews".

Not me.

( main point one)

I will not pander to the lava soap washed masses, running to the tube to catch Survivor‘s special Malcolm in the Middle edition. If Garrison Kellior's A Prairie Home Companion radio comedy show is your bag of wax; there go there and enjoy a homegrown Minnesota viewpoint.

Google be dammed! I say.

I will not be part of that pod. Apples to oranges. I remember pet rocks and will stay firmly planted in the twentieth century – election fraud or no indications of collusion wide spread election fraud. Its wrong, just to put in a bunch of words – many not even relating to the theme of the blog at all. ( Like putting "Walt Disney World" in a blog that’s really about your success or failure with that special low-carb Atkins / south beach diet you started because Oprah talked about on Dr. Phil. ) It’s like the full house twins Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen missing their senior prom to appear on Saturday Night Live.

If Alicia Keys wants to find my blog, she will. Ferrel rats could not make me add more random pop culture references to pacify those Pez collecting, Dorrito eating, Star Wars freaks. Don’t let machines take over like in planet of the apes. Though I may be confusing my dystopian** sci-fi noir movies here – it might have been blade runner or that other one where robots take over. ( Ah yes. I remember it now. Terminator.) ( Why did I remember Sigourney Weaver being in that? She was in Alien.)

(Main point 2)

Keep it real I say. But don’t unnecessary street slang like phat or tight or cool just to attract that x-games watching, mountain dew drinking playstation II playing teen crowd that all the biggest advertisers like Nike and Coke are after. Be more middle-of-the-road like the Wall Street Journal. Don’t play into their hands like Rupert Murdoch’s "fair and balanced" FOX news reporters scandalous special exciting report during November sweeps. Is you want gossip or celebrity fashion tips, you won’t find that here. Try exotic Morocco.

I’m no Michael Moore, making politically tinged documentaries with a twist of comedy. Did you see him on Letterman? Like a hyper-sexed narwhal, I aim high. Over-clocking your blog just to get more hits is like, well, Mr. Steven King writing a comic book for soccer moms driving popular SUV’s to the Walmart. Botox this!

I’m proud to say I’m not, as they say, a popular breed of dog, but rather like the g-sting on a Les Paul hard body rock guitar; forgotten but necessary. Schwarzenegger did it his way and so did Hervez Vilachez. Now there’s a Thursday night pay per view WWF wrestling tag team combo! Is anyone at HBO listening? Paging Mr. Donald Trump, white courtesy phone, it London calling with a message in a bottle.

(MP3)

Hey Matt Drudge! "Halliburton recumbent multi-million dollar kickbacks lucrative post-it note" isn’t even a proper sentence. You may be "the fonz" for drug addled (why must it always be drug addled and not some other term? Drug stupified? Drug ingestive? drup enraptured but with weak corporate speaking skills?) steam-powered talk radio hosts talking dirty and quaffing illegal pharmaceuticals faster than a bowl of Reese’s Pieces disappears from Steven Spielberg’s coffee table; but to me you’re just a rock star wanna be dressed in a double breasted ( law) suit. There. That’s exactly the type of high-minded intellectual insight you can expect to find here. Not the lord of the rings, fries or even the dance. If you want insight on the lasted internet virus or ways to lower you home mortgage – phone a friend, already. Can you hear me now?

So, for the record :

This log will not contain mentions of the war in Iraq, Tiger Woods, Australian beer, rampant electronic anti-Nader voter election fraud in swing states, importing drugs from Canada, Elvis and Madonna dating tips, the second tier candy long forgotten by the best generation (" red hots") or the growing popularity of NASCAR racing in the European Union. I also don’t condone the goldfish swallowing craze of the 1950's.

So, as long as the electoral college functions, as long Cher's farewell tour stays on the road and as long as high schools kids keep snickering when the football announcer says " here come the Trojans!" on a cool Alabama night with frost on Walden pond and the desperate yearning of romance is in the air, I shall not move from my position. No pandering to search engines. Be pure!

Just say no. I did. So did Michael Jordan.

David

** Don’t let my high-toned vocabulary scare you off like the department of homeland security ‘s color coded Security Threat Condition advisory system. I didn’t go to Harvard or Yale or any other ivy league school where they have "skull and bones " secret fraternity rituals like those George W. Bush was involved in. I’m just another product of a pretty good public ( PGP) school education who wishes the Vikings could overcome their desperate lack of a fourth quarter game to take them to the very top of the NFL super bowl cheerleaders director’s cut.

Eminem.

Space Oddity

2004-11-04T07:29:00.000-08:00

My hero, George W. Bush

...The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming...
Theodore Roosevelt
April 23, 1910

Thank you, Mr. President for giving the common man a hero. Everyone knows what the world thinks of the us, and that’s because of you. You are almost everything we could ask for in a president. Simple. Driven. Majestically uncomplicated.

The many things that you’ve done boggle the mind. Overcoming a drunk driving arrest and questions about your National Guard service, you have risen above an ordinary intellect, and did not let your rich parents’ connections smother your formative years as the president of the Delta Kappa Epsilon fraternity.

Mr. President, do not worry too much about the debates. Kerry is a college boy who excels at clear thinking, arguments, rhetoric, logic and debate. Your bring something else to the table. A fiery, hot headed and emotional state, something Mr. Kerry lacks. Passion is vastly different from mastery of the English language. And, unlike your opponent, you are working for global climate change everyday.

Faith above all! -- you seem to say. – Believe in it and it will come true. I wish my faith were that strong. God does not speak to me or even directly to my minister, so you must be special. Not just our opponents are fanatical about their religion. Facts, science and logic fall away in the face of your strong fundamentalism.

Stay the course in Iraq Mr. President, a bold leader is unafraid to go it alone into a war in the Middle East, regardless of the cost. Protect the world’s oil supply, keep those pipelines open and bring gas to America. Halliburton is an American company and deserves to profit from this war, however long it takes.

Do not be afraid to be constantly influenced by your friend and mentor Dick Cheney ( Cheney in 2008! He's next in line.) He is pushing past mistakes and spending money whenever necessary to insure that American will long be remembered for this war. Focused, as you are, on today, you leave the worries of tomorrow for our children. These past four years have shown us what we can expect from such a man as yourself.

As Tina Turner says in her song; "We don’t need another hero". But I think we do. Someone has to step into the big shoes left by Dan Quayle, Oliver North, Joseph McCarthy, Tom DeLay Trent Lott and Richard Nixon. All these men are worthy of scrutiny, though I suspect that you will be remembered far longer than any of these men. Like the wall in Washington, there will be a memorial to you.

The ultimate responsibility rests with you, Sir, and that fact alone drives me everyday. Whenever I think of what American has become, whenever I wonder about the future, whenever I salute the flag, I think of you, Mr. President. Every single day, I wait for your leadership and honesty. Thank you for giving me a reason to vote this Tuesday. In your presidency, there is nothing like the truth to guide a man, such as myself.

I am forever humbled by your work, and your record, as we all should be.

David

A kind of magic

2004-09-06T09:30:00.000-07:00

For example, the first chapter of a children's book...

Miracle Man of Water Street
copyright 2001-2002 David P Walbridge

The sign above the door said Curios.

One marble step went up from the street into the little shop.

The door was half open, and the inside looked dark and cool, so I went in. The shop itself was tiny, and seemed to go way back into the building. It smelled damp, of furniture oil and wrapping paper. Every wall was covered with shelves and every shelf had stuff on it. Shiny stuff, mysterious things, and oddities. Looking around I saw a brass chest, a diamond necklace and a human skull.

On one side of the store was a dusty glass counter. Behind it was a man, standing perfectly still. He might have been 25, he might have been 50. Under one hand was a dowel, black with brown ends. A magic wand. Behind his shoulder was a little sign in a glass frame. It had one word written in script: Poof.

Poof He said, Means gone.

I watched.

It is the same idea as Aabracadabra, but faster. He leaned forward.

The hand. Is quicker than the eye. Your eye.

I stared.

Would you like to see some magic? He asked. I nodded fast.

He opened his hand. In it were four shiny quarters. He picked them out of his hand and let them dribble back in.

Magic is deception. Illusion, theater and the world's greatest con.

His left hand, un-moving, held the four quarters. In his right he picked up a wand. I watched. He closed his fist hiding the coins. He tapped his fist once with the wand. Unfolding it, there were just three quarters.

He closed it again. Tapped it twice. And opened. One coin. One!

I stopped breathing.

He looked up at me and smiled.

Say goodbye He said. Tapping his hand.

Goodbye I squeaked.

He slowly opened his fingers, one at a time. There was noting there. Empty.

I wanted to know how. Had to know. Now.

I'll trade you... Thinking. What did I have that he wanted?

No.

I'll go and get you some...

Not interested.

What do you want? I asked, desperate to know the workings of his miracle.

Me? Need? Hmmm. Someone to sweep, I suppose. Take out the trash. Wipe the windows and all...

Work? I got enough of that at home. But I had to find out...

All right. I'll work. We shook on the deal.

So I would be working at the curio shop in exchange for magic lessons. Or at least that what I thought I was getting into....

end chapter one

Controversy

2004-08-10T17:30:00.000-07:00

In the classes I teach I always try to include a discussion of both ethics and secrets. Here is part of my essay on being a performing juggler.

Theater secrets

Not every juggler wants to perform. This is ok.

But for those of you interested in entertaining with juggling the following may save you about ten years of hard work.

First harsh truth: For the a member of the general public, Juggling is interesting to watch only for a very short time.

When watching juggling:
Small children can’t follow it
Mid sized kids will watch for a little while, ‘cause its different & new.
Teens? Is it cool, new, hip or likely to get THEM attention? Then yes. Otherwise no.
Adults? Even most adults cant follow much of tricks or technical juggling. ( 5 looks like 7 and even I can’t always spot if that’s 9)

Most audiences will not watch juggling for more than a few minutes, unless its looks dangerous or may result in a comedic situation for the performer.

What does this mean to the budding juggler as performer?

ITS NOT THE JUGGLING.

It’s the potential drama.
Juggling is just the way you reach them.

Big word time. As the entertainer, you have to hook them with the premise – to believe that whatever it is you are saying is "true" at this moment. If you say:
"the hard part is stopping" it will fall flat if they believe you can easily (and without gore) stop those darn machetes.

However:
IF they believe that attempting to stop the pattern has a 91% chance of causing you bodily harm and result in deep red blood spouting from three major arteries – they’ll watch. Wouldn’t you?

Therefore: Belief.

Whomever you are on stage, if they believe you will always succeed in eating the apple or mounting the unicycle or catching the potato on the fork...it will be boring. Like watching re-runs of your favorite show. Or dry meatloaf. Or a milk sandwich on white bread.

But (and it’s a big but) if they believe you might miss / fail or even succeed – then there is drama.

Drama is emotion. We "feel" for you, oh great juggler. We know the pain of missing, the embarrassment of dropping and the searing blisters left weeks after a chance midnight encounter with an...well, you get the point. Hook them with your human (emotional) struggle, with your story. Share.

An experiment is always more interesting than a demonstration. Why? An experiment has a chance of failure.

So, should your show de a demonstration of all the clever things you can do...Or a common journey into the risky edge of the possible. ( It’s the same show, by the way, with the same props. Its just a different theatrical approach.)

Secrets, part two

People want to be recognized. They want to be important. Sometimes the only way they can do this is by sharing someone else’s celebrity. Note the number of people who wait on the street outside the "Today" show, hoping for a few seconds of tv time.

When you perform, you become an important person. You are on stage, obviously skilled and get to speak to the whole group – none of us did any of those, therefore you must be important. We, the vast unwashed, want to share in that. We want to meet you shake hands, chat. ( why? So we can take home stories – I met _______ and shook his hand!)

Secret #17. In this world, most jugglers are seem as street performers, renaissance faire roustabouts, or clowns. All of these have very low status.

#

Working 9 to 5

2004-07-05T01:41:00.000-07:00

Birthdays are big business. Here's my take on creating that memorable event. (And an excuse to use the word "Chuckwalla.")

-d

Ray’s Reptiles -- birthday bash
C 2003 WALBRIDGE

JP: Hey kids!

DC: Tired of the same old birthday party?

SFX: WEAK KAZOO

JEP: Had enough of a clown making balloons at a pizza place?

SFX CHARLES CHEESES ARCADE N’ FOOD AMBIENCE, BALLOON POPS

DC: Then have we got something fun for you!

SFX SWAMP BLOOPS, GATOR GROWLS

JEP: Something different?

DC: Something dangerous?

SFX INSECT SKITTERING

JEP: Something with a little more "teeth"?

DC: Well then you’ve come to the right place.

JEP: Hi kids, Reptile Ray here with a GREAT idea for your next birthday. Why not invite me ( Reptile Ray) and my "Bus full’O critters ™" to join you on your special day?

MUSIC AUSTRALIAN

DC: What could be more fun than a ranch style home filled with lower invertebrates?

JEP: Not much.

DC: Ray himself brings a whole passel of swamp creatures; legless lizards, ithcepods, jumbo toads, snails, poison amazon tree frogs, Chuckwallas, carpet pythons, and a five foot Japanese giant salamander.

JEP: Snapping turtles, spitting cobras and tree dragons. And a free anaconda for the kid having the birthday – How’s that for fun? If it spits, hisses or strikes with fury, we’ve got ‘im.

SFX RATTLER, STRIKE

DC: Meet and greet some of natures nastiest, one on one in the reptile petting zoo with the eight foot electrified fence.

SFX BIG BUG ZAPPER

JEP: Careful there, Billy, that goator’s a mite hungry.

DC: Think lower on the evolutionary scale…

JEP: Scales, yup, lots o scales on these creatures.

DC: Sit down to tea with a tarantula, and open present with a ball python.

JEP: She’s a beaut! And ready for fun at your party!

DC: Play pin the tail on the gator…with a real gator.

Sfx gator growl, TAIL LASH, CHILDREN’S SQUEALS

DC: Snake sack races…

JEP: With real snakes!

DC: And the iguana races.

JEP: You mean we run like iguanas?

DC: No, silly, you run from the iguanas.

SFX CREATURE HISS

DC: What’s more fun than an actual sloth? Not much!

JEP: Quiet, them are.

GIRL VOICE Mommy, I want a gator birthday! Pleeeease?

DC: Every kid gets an actual reptile to take home…how’s that for a party souvenir?

Girl: I’ve got a marmot!

JEP: ( AS INDOLENT Teen) All I got was a bag of cockroaches…

DC: Spend the day with Ray; and have a birthday party that’ll be the talk of the third grade for months and months…

JEP: Especially your teacher.

DC: Ray’s reptile ranch; poisonous pets for lease or let; this month’s special, we’ll include, at no extra charge, a whole case of jelly fish.

JEP: Won’t you call now?

MUSIC AUSTRALIAN

END

Jingle jangle jingle...

2004-06-06T15:11:00.000-07:00

( I'd forgotten I wrote this. Apologies to Shel Silverstein.)

A Hobby of Mine
( c) 2003 Walbridge

Some kids collect marbles, some collect sticks
My brother collects onions, my sister? Bricks.
I’ve picked something different, rather unique
Something that used to make my head leak
Not keeping old crayons like my friend Fred
I’m not saving old boxtops, its sneezes instead.

Sneeze free for more than year
That’s the world record, except for a bear
Not a drip, not a drop has left its nose place,
No dribble has leaked down the front part of my face
Nose juice and sneeze pellets, remarkably mine
No one can match them, a collection so fine
A museum of sinus creme, my hobby unique
You’ll have to stand closer, If you want a peek.

Step right up folks, only a nickel.
Gaze all you want to, no flashlights, they tickle
Is it a sculpture or American history?
No flash photography, it weakens the mystery.

But one day, they’ll leave me
In a burst, all at once
Exploding into the troposphere,
Like an astronaut’s lunch
My collection finished, though it was fun
In an all gigantic sneezer, just one B-I-G one.

Another kid will be the champ, he’ll be the new king
And I’ll start a new hobby, collect a new thing.
Perhaps monogrammed knockwurst or toast from Brazil
or chocolate trilobites or bunker hill?

Oh wait, its starting, a tickle inside
Brace yourself, mother, best to go hide
Time to share my nose friends, to give them air
Clear the kitchen, move the chairs!

Its suddenly urgent to address this concern
Expelling the swelling that’s been dwelling in my head
And let the Guinness book people finally learn
How much is up there, packed denser than lead?

Oh no,
Aaaaaaaaaacccccccccccchhhhhhhhhhhhhhoooooo!

Tissue, I missed you.

S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y NIGHT

2004-05-05T18:47:00.000-07:00

Why Saturday Night Live ain’t funny no more.

I like Saturday Night Live. I grew up on it. In high school we repeated everything they did. Endlessly. When I was fifteen, watching it every week was a peek into a cheeky, adult, hip & comic world. Now, my girlfriend puts on her "you’re hopeless" face when I tune over to NBC late on Saturday. After years of hoping they will find their way back to funny land, I offer these hints on Why Saturday Night Live ain’t funny no more.

1. The producer, Lorne Michaels, was 28 and hip in 1975 when the show started. Today he is 56. He still gets to decide what’s funny. Bill Cosby is incredibly funny, but he still doesn’t get to program MTV.

2. Sets. I have heard a rumor that it is too expensive to have the sets made in NYC, so they have them shipped in from New Jersey. This makes it too expensive to cancel a sketch if it isn’t actually funny when it gets to dress rehearsal time. But boy do they have nice sets.

3. Repeated characters. Face it, actors hope to make SNL a launching pad for their respective careers. To do that, they have to get noticed. Add in that the writers have to write on very short schedules ( Often scripting a whole show in just 2-3 days) so both groups tend to repeat material. Any character that was at all funny the first time at all is going to get re-used. Comedy relies on surprise. Stop boring us.
( Scholars, for reference see; "Brian Fellows’ Safari Planet". Possibly the least funny thing on tv. Ever.)

4.a. Actors. The very best of improv actors from improvisation companies across the country (and Canada ) are brought in...to read from scripts. It ain’t improv. And its not what they’re best at. It’s like hiring the best shortstop in the majors -- to play first base.

4.b. Also, the low level of professionalism (e.g actors cracking each other up) reminds me of the second hour of a fraternity talent show – neither funny nor short. "Paging Mr. Fallon, Mr. Fallon,white courtesy phone."

4.c. John Belushi impersonators are both sad and un-funny. Actors hired to be him have an impossible route to follow. Let it go.

5. Guest hosts; first season: George Carlin, Lilly Tomlin, Richard Pyror, Dudley Moore. Last season? Matt Damon, John McCain, racer Jeff Gordon and & Al Gore. Hmmm?

6.Stick around for the end of the show credits...25 writers? Since when does a committee make good art?

Corollary to #6 above. In twenty-five years they have yet to learn how to find the ending of a sketch. (Hint: it’s right after your biggest laugh.)

7. Big Apple Centric. Folks, folks, folks. Listen, we know you live in the coolest city in the world, the center of art, fashion, finance and home of the UN, but most of us don’t. Inside references and current events concerning Rudolph W. Giuliani’s dating habits fall flat in Seattle, Boston, Miami, New Orleans, and everywhere else. Don’t be Letterman.

8. Regarding the animated short pieces--It was cutting edge. But since this premiered we have seen the Simpsons, Wallace and Grommit, Beavis and Butthead and South Park. Catch up.

9. Tina, Tina, Tina. Weekend Update is funny. But "drunk girl"is not. Use your intelligence.

10. "Outrageous instead of being outraged." – Jeffrey Sweet. Comedy can be the fast lane to social commentary or it can be fart jokes. You pick.

Still a fan,
D. Walbridge

PS Yes. I still watch.

You say its your birthday...

2004-04-27T09:12:00.000-07:00

What do I want for my Birthday?

Over forty years I have made many, many birthday lists.
Some things I did get:
Socks.
Underwear. ( Not as bad as it seems)
Cash.
A $40 high tech yo-yo.
Rubber chickens, a wind-up hopping pair of lederhosen, several Schwinn Sting Ray bikes, either in yellow or green.

Some things that, while they were on many, many times, I did not get for any birthday:
A car.
World peace.
A GPS device. ( Though it was 1974)
A computer. (1965. Would’ve been kinda pricey.)

So let your conscience be your guide,

-Dave

PS Got a big surround sound 5 speaker system for the TV. Makes it sound like a jet is landing in my living room. Thanks, Hon.

One guitar, no locals

2004-04-09T00:45:00.000-07:00

Bought myself a ukelele.

I think this is a clear sign of an impending mid-life crisis. Its also electric. And a 250 watt amp. For those of you who make music on acoustic instruments, that’s enough power to fry an egg. At a distance of forty feet.

Enjoy.

A friend lights himself on fire; a cautionary tale.

Got a call from a friend of mine recently. He couldn’t go to work because he had burned the first (dead) layer of skin clean off his hands.

He’s OK.

So, you’re asking yourself, how did this happen? Freak bowling accident? A very large candle? Cut himself shaving?

No.

He was being careful.

While cleaning his garage, he found an old plastic ketchup bottle marked CAUTION. FLAMMABLE. DANGER. FLASH POWDER. KEEP FROM FIRE OR FLAME. STORE IN COOL PLACE. NOT FOR KIDS.

( Side note: Flash powder is something rock bands use for a very fast, very hot " Whoof!" of flame.)

So what did my friend do upon finding this very flammable powder. Toss it out in the trash? Wet it down with water? Call the local reference librarian for advice?

No.

He decided that something this flammable, this dangerous must be......burned up.
So he and his daughter built a small fire in the backyard and started feeding the flash powder into the fire by squeezing the powder out of the bottle into the flames.

Squeeze. WHOOF!

Squeeze. WHOOF!

Squeeze. Silence.

My friend looks down. No bottle. He looks at his daughter. She is speaking, but he can’t hear any words. Hmmm, curious reader, what happened?

The fire went up the line of powder, into the bottle, lit all the remaining amount and then it all exploded with a tremendous bang.

He’s OK. She’s OK.

The worst part? This is not the first time my friend has been on fire.

So what have we learned? If it says thing like " VERY FLAMMABLE, EXTREME CAUTION and DON’T USE NEAR OPEN FLAME, CAUTION IT BURNS LIKE CRAZY, IF YOU GOTTA LIGHT IT DON’T INVOLVE ANY MEMBERS OF YOUR FAMILY", maybe you should just turn it over to the wife.

Anyhow, looking at my 40th birthday at the end of the month. Its kind of like having a job review of your life.

Send flowers,

Dave

PS This month’s joke:
What kind of monkey always comes back when you throw it away?
A boom-orangutang!

Life in a northern town

2004-03-02T08:30:00.000-08:00

"Can you teach a sense of humor? Isn’t it something you’re born with?"

This is the number #1 question I get every time I teach a comedy writing class.

The answer is "no". But the good news is that everyone is born with a sense of what’s funny. All I can do is help you develop it with some enthusiasm, some ideas and a few simple exercises.

The other question I get while teaching: Where do you sell your humor? The simple answer is – all over. I’ve sold ideas to radio shows, button manufacturers, magazine editors, street performers, and many others.

So, come and join me, learn about comedy ( it’s a fun class) and stretch your humor muscle.

Enjoy,
-Dave

PS Classes are perfect for beginners and are offered 2-4 times a year.

Funny Valentine's Day show

2004-02-08T14:09:00.000-08:00

Minnesota is cold. Not catch a chill, get a sweater cold, but rather snot freezes inside your nose cold. Nothing is designed to work right at twenty below.

Overheard: "...At twenty below zero, you can take an ice cube out of your refrigerator, put it outside on the porch and within fifteen minutes, it’ll be knocking on the door to get back in."

Busily working on a variety show for the Mondo JuggleFest. Two and a half hours of juggling, comedy, unicycling, and more silliness. Getting 35 performers together to rehearse a show is about as easy as...well, I owe you a metaphor.

Its busy time here. Working with the theater, the technicians, the ushers, the acts and everyone else. Six hours straight, right up to show time. But its worth it. When its all over (usually after ten at night) everyone is exhausted, happy and rarin’ to do it again next year.

Ah, the world of theater.

Enjoy,

Dave

Don't let 'em grow up to be cowboys

2004-01-01T13:49:00.000-08:00

One of my lifetime goals has been to find a job, whatever it was, where I could wear my comfy shorts and an XL Hawaiian shirt to work. A necktie, to me, has the same comfort level as wearing shellacked, burlap boxer shorts. On a long bicycle ride.

I found that job.

What follows is a periodic look at my world – that of a comedy writer. In this blog, I’ll list some of my thoughts, roadblocks, insights and successes of the upcoming year, 2004.
In addition to making light of the real world on a regular basis, essays might also include what its like to be a father, biker and turning forty.

Forty.

Enjoy,
-Dave